Hunger Management

What to eat for Iftar (break-fasting)? Ah! The honourable question, the statement of the year, the one thing that could stop even the night curfew in Iraq – Whether it is “beriyani gam” or “pasta” or “khubz” or “pizza” or “Pakora” or “vindaloo” or “Dimsum” or just plain “murtabak”, it doesn’t matter. What does matters is the underlying principle behind it, that is satisfying one’s hunger. And it could be more than that!

I supposed that is a basic human instinct, where would go nuts if we don’t get something we really craved for. We would take any measure just to get THAT something. Simply apply it to the current case (ie. the fasting month), where we (muslims around the worlds) are barred from eating anything from sunrise till sunset.

Would that be enough to develop the basic human instinct to buy more foods during the shopping spree in “Pasar Ramadhan” or Ramadhan Bazaar? I supposed yes.

Just the other day, me and my cousins’ cousins were buying some foods before Iftar. He suggested we bought “Ayam Percik” (Barbequed chicken covered in chilli sauce), about 4 or 5 pieces of “murtabak” (Indian-originated food like roti/chappati but with chicken meat/beef inside), and mixed of “Kuih talam, lengkong, pulut panggang, karipap, cucur badak” (traditional malay cuisines) as if he didn’t know that my mum were already preparing “nasi ayam” (chicken rice) at home.

Now who wanted to eat ALL that?

And there was this middle-aged woman who seemed to buy everything from the Bazaar.

May be we should make a list on what we want to eat, don’t we?

Ramadhan supposedly a month to supress your nafs (desire) and that includes your appetite. And some say it’s a good oppurtunity to reduce your weight.

But that is far from the truth. What i can safely conclude every year is that we usually have our weight reduced few pounds/kilos during Ramadhan just to gain back what we have lost on the first day of “Hari Raya”/Eid !!!! And honestly that includes me as well!!!

So, what for Iftar today? (hehehe....)

P/S: I suggest

1. Murtabak
2.Tauhu Bakar
3. Ayam Percik
4. Beriyani Ayam
5. Kari Kepala Ikan
6. Roti jala
7. Nasi Kerabu
8. Sup Tulang
9. Mee soto
10. Ikan bakar
11. Er.. er.. I supposed Pizza Hut wouldn’t be a bad choice either
12. Or KFC
13. or McDonalds
14. Couldn’t continue due to having extreme hunger disease that could turn every object into food!

ELEVATION!

It wasn’t a hiatus. Nor a mental breakdown. But a journey.. yeah and sorting out priority.. And THANKS for all of your lovely advice and support. Couldn’t get any better than that.

But no doubt that i was quite depressed last time for doing nothing at all during my personal time. I dunno about others – but for me, sometimes, you just lie down and wanted to watch TV all the time or playing computer games until you totally forgotten about the world out side.

And after that you just said “enough is enough and you need to change your life NOW”.

That was why I stopped smoking.
That was why I stopped playing CM4.
That was why I tried to limit myself in watching TV. (Though survivor and Charmed is a must)

That was what i felt and luckily that feeling of boredom has gone now..

I feel better.. I feel refresh.. and certainly rejuvenate!

Now a new chapter is needed.. I need to look forward and be happy.. Open sesame!

And another thing, I have created another blog called Sempadan Tanpa Seri Blog OR Bersama John Norafizan blog. Click here.

It’s not to say that i am going to shut down Clutter World. No! Not for a second! But I can see that it is just an appropriate time to write one in Malay. As my book is in Malay, I think it will reach out more malay-reader out there...

Those who can’t read in Malay.. don’t bother to go there.. hehehe... it will be different from the Clutter World.. Heck! You could almost say it is a different John who writes in Sempadan Tanpa Seri Blog!

Given the circumstances, I am half agree to that notion.. this is John the nobody that hosts The Clutter World and and that is John the Novelist that writes in STS Blog!

So you can forget about me writing anything about my book here in ClutterWorld (or probably just occasionally) but pure ranting. er.. and bit of vocalising my thoughts.. But you just have to accept the Clutter world layout/concept at the moment as I haven’t got much time to change it.

Having said that, the responsibility of having two blogs in two different languages wouldn’t make me a teribble blogger. You wouldn’t find the same article or thought in The Clutter World or STS Blog. And if I write something in say, ClutterWorld I promise I would not just translate it to Malay and then Write the same thing in STS Blog. Same thing, different language.. NO.. That’s is not my style...

So I am here to stay and to having good times with all the good people here! The journey is long but you just need to keep on going. You might falter on the way.. take a rest if you must but give up you must not.. That’s the journey you have to take. And life is THAT journey.

Aye Up, Guys, Gals, people, every body... Shall we now??!!!!

NOT TODAY....

Thanks to Kiezamy for pointing out my “feminist” side these past few days. It’s called age-crisis. Not your usual middle-age crisis but 27-year-old-something crisis. Future phobia – Question of life, question of what have you done to make your dream comes true, question of how you have planned your life so far, question of satisfaction, question of the life that you’ve always craved, have you got it so far? question of everything.. Except that they haven’t compiled and categorised my kind of phobia as yet. Perhaps the closer thing is Panophobia. The fear of everything.

Not that I’m fearing people. Not that I’m fearing my existence. Not even scared of my own memories.

Everything but THE FUTURE.

Anyone ever think what the future lies for them? Some are very fortunate in a sense that they are doing something that they have always dreamed for.

Some are not..

Which category do I fall into? or Are you?

Having said that, I am going to “retire” for a while from the cyber world.. and yes that includes blogging, sending any articles in any e-groups (including me own), and shutting of me self from any thing related to the cyber world except perhaps the Yahoo Messenger.

A bit of self discovery journey, me.

Need time to adjust to the God-Given time.

We’ll meet again, next month perhaps?

Khuda Hafiz... Peace for all.. Salam...

Sweet smell of you...

A traditional greece song or something in BBC world service radio yesterday.

Reminded me of the fresh sea air, miles and miles of greenery with old castles and buildings from the world of old.

And sweets and all kind of chocolate cakes and hot bread while sitting lazily on the deck of terraces white building facing the crystal clear blue sea; while sipping an aromatic home made hot black coffee.

To think of it, would you even consider to live in such a place?

Or living in a dusty but magnificient mountainous dwellings in the border of Pakistan and Afghanistan?

Or the mysterious Central Asia land where nothing ever changed for the past 500 years?

Or the crowded but out of the world places such as in Dhaka, Karachi and Mumbai of the Indian sub continent?

Would you?

I have doubt for a second but then made up my mind, I would love to live anywhere, everywhere as long as I have the one that I love with me, near me to hold me through thick and thin of time...

To be there when I call her name, to comfort me when I’m wary, to stand by me until the ending of the world..

Anywhere is okay....

ME ALERT!!!!!!!!!!

Visiting Idlan's Chaos this morning really make me quail. Somebody's been using my name and some body thought that bloody *$##@*& was me.

BE TOLD..
I have forsaken the name john long time ago after visiting Adam's Blog and found somebody was swearing over and over again and his name was also john. I have taken the name "john norafizan" to avoid confusion since then..

Now.. Pls do not mistook me for some twat out there... cheers!

But there will be no more bright thursday morning today.. just jagged...

Bright Thursday Morning

Stars shining bright above you
Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"
Birds singing in the sycamore tree
Dream a little dream of me
Say "Night-ie night" and kiss me
Just hold me tight and tell me you'll miss me
While I'm alone and blue as can be
Dream a little dream of me
Stars fading but I linger on, dear
Still craving your kiss
I'm longing to linger till dawn, dear
Just saying this
Sweet dreams till sunbeams find you
Sweet dreams that leave all worries behind you
But in your dreams whatever they be
Dream a little dream of me

Watch French Kiss last night.. and I guess the above song does sum up my feeling for today...

What the heck

Would like to reiterate the statement I made yesterday. I’ll write something for today. Not that I am a bloody liar. And not bollocking you! Just loosing a screw or two inside my brain these past few days.

Definition :- A man over burdened to meet his dateline at work. And the key word is FRIDAY. Full stop. That’s me.. phew.. that’s exactly me.

So still trying to figureout my self. I am now looking more like a git desperate of transporting to another dimension. At any rate, the email I’ve got yesterday sounds VERY hopeful.

Dear Sir,
I am Dr. Musa Galadima, Manager in charge of bills and exchange of Ecobank Plc, Africa. I have urgent and very confidential business proposition for you.
On June 6, 1998, an oil consultant/contractor with the Nigerian Mining Corporation, Mr. Charles Anderson made a numbered time (Fixed) Deposit for twelve calendar months, valued at US$28,500,000.00 (Twenty- eight Million five hundred thousand Dollars) in my branch. Upon maturity, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address but got no reply. After a month, we sent a reminder and finally we discovered from his contract employers, the Nigerian Mining Corporation that Mr. Charles Anderson died from an automobile accident. On further investigation, I found out that he died without making a WILL and all attempts to trace his next of kin was fruitless..... (bla bla bla)

And so at the end, Dr what-the-heck Musa Galadima told me that I would be getting 35% out of that US$ 28,400,000.00. Do the sum.

I hope I can encourage Mr. Steven Spielberg to build another time-machine with the money....

I need to shoot 'im (second posting in Tues which means there'll be no posting tomorrow..)

Jar Jar Binks, is he not the most annoying tit of a character ever to inhabit the Star Wars universe ? Did you care when thousands of his annoying, gangly mates got zapped by the robot horde ? Actually, did you care at all who won a war between mobile tin cans and spastic, elastic aliens ? Why was this annoying prat given a semi-Jamaican accent ?

Anyway, I'm starting to wander away from the point, which is this, 590 Ways Jar Jar Binks Should Die, slightly obsessive, yet fun.

Absolution

Played bowling yesterday night...
Yet another day spent indulging in my self-defeat.

Decide, at least in principle, that I should update my blog on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,Friday only. But I haven't decided as much. I lament bitterly the cleansing of spontaneity from my blog, and I increasingly feel so sissy over all this personal confession over the net. Insanity.

Anyway, a paper journal wouldn't be for my future reflection, more to stop me thinking about things in such a way it's as if my brain is powered by Blogger.

Bare Naked

I try to remember my favourite things... (without any order)

CM 4
Night with stars
Old Trafford stadium
Hanging around with best mates
“Ikan bakar”
“Nasi lemak”
Snorkelling
Blogging
beaches
Wet morning in Prestwich
DC comics
Radiohead
Snow
my bicycle
Hiking
Travis
Manchester
Tioman Island
Coca cola
“Humphrey Street”
Football
Lord of the rings movies
High Fidelity (both movie and book)
My cubicle in my working place
Cats
Frasier, Sienfield and Friends sitcom
South Park cartoon
airconditioned room
cactus
Television
travelling
good jokes
“Mamak” restaurant in Kota Masai, Pasir Gudang
Ferrari
Solitude
Good books
Manchester United
Yahoo Messenger
Daffodils
Oasis
Salford Quay
Website designing
Sleeping

What else would you do if:
1. The more you hate her/him, the more you love her/him
2. You want her/him to leave but when she/he does, you feel like missing something
3. The more you try to forget her/him, the more she/he appears in your mind

Naked truth in Monday. Felt vulnerable and without direction. Do you?

Gotta do more! Gotta be more!

Laughing, crying, tumbling, mumbling.
Gotta do more. Gotta be more.

Chaos screaming, chaos dreaming.
Gotta do more! Gotta be more!

And that is what I feel now. I need to shake up my brain and do more than what I have done for the past few weeks. My brain is clogging with this stupid definition of life ie. do nothing and treasure every moment of it!

Yes I have treasured those moments (sitting lazily on sofas watching TV while eating snacks until my brain exploded and I didnt even know what they were showing! OR playing CM4 for that matter which was good but have to admit that it was a total waste of time!) and I need to get out from THAT hypnotised life. NOW!

Kinda people been hynotised/brainwashed by Riddler and Two Face in Batman Forever. Only I am real. And not wearing a spandex of any kind. And NOT stupid like the people in the film. Which is sadly a half true depiction of a real life people. And sadly still many people out there like the movie.

Okay, BATMAN 1 was one of the best comic-adapatation movie ever made, BATMAN RETURNS was the darkest Batman movies but the last two were jokes! Even Adam West Batman TV series were slightly better than them! And they should be re-titled as "Batman sucks Forever 3 & 4"

So in this hot Friday afternoon drool, I finally realised that I need to start writing again - re-starting my not-even-half-complete 3rd Novel. I need to use my time to the max.

Gotta do more, gotta be more!

To you with Love

Found something very odd while rummaging piles of clothes and old items in the store back in my parents’ house yesterday. Would you believe it? A 6-year-old piece of paper containing scribbled sentences on it-dated 12.09.1998 was still intact and readable lying inside one of the bags that I brought from the UK.
A poem I made when I was so naive and young (err.. I mean I’m still young now, aren’t I?). The reason? Wouldn’t want to divulge the reason but it was something that hurts.

My first and would be the last poem I ever wrote... and I have not tried writing one since then.. :)


i.
Echo of regrets
In cold but starry nights
Where the promise died
I cried

For youth be taken in hue
Love wrinkled
Wither me in blue
Curled

But winter’s here
Forever
I’ll miss you dear

ii.
If love agrees
I would have bargained
To pave a street made of memories
And bring you back again

But will you be there?
Though I care,
A lover’s due,
Whether with or without you...

SECOND METAMORPHOSIS

Second attempt to change the entire site. Like a child learning to walk. Learning to fly...

You can call this as organising the mess here...

Metamorphosis

Been listening to old tracks yesterday and stumbled upon this song – WILD WORLD by Mr. Big. Lots of memories, the song is, and I don’t even know when I would ever forget every one of them. One thing for sure, I am eager to see the new day ahead...

(P/s: For those who has surfed here earlier would see a different lay out and different posting.. hehe my plan has backfired! Some thing wrong with the new lay out and I think need to withdraw the layout template for further sudy! hehe!)



Wild World
Now that I've lost everything to you
You say you wanna start something new
And it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'
Baby, I'm grievin'
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear
But then a lot of nice things turn bad out there

Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
It's hard to get by just upon a smile
Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world
I'll always remember you like a child, girl

You know I've seen a lot of what the world can do
And it's breakin' my heart in two
Because I never wanna see you a sad, girl
Don't be a bad girl
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Chorus

Baby, I love you
But if you wanna leave, take good care
Hope you make a lot of nice friends out there
But just remember there's a lot of bad and beware

Chorus

The "IKAN BAKAR" adventure!

I have been a bit melancholic for the past one week. Really it wasn’t my style to bash others. You can count on it. I am not the type of people to :- back-bite, bad-mouth, belittle, berate, blow off, cap, castigate, chop, cuss out, cut, cut down, decry, defame, derogate, dig, discount, dump on, get bent, insult, knock, minimize, nag, offend, oppress, persecute, pick on, put down, rag, rag on, rank out, reproach, revile, ride, rip up, run down, scold, screw, signify, slam, slap, smear, sound, swear at, swipe, tear apart, trash, upbraid, vituperate, zing :- others for my pleasure.

You can summarise that in one sentense – Yes, It was not John who wrote last week but the BAD version of John alias Mr John Hyde.

So I try to keep a clean rep starting from today onwards. No complaining but unprotesting. So I wasn’t complaining when I found out this morning that SQUAWKBOX COMMENT has already expired and I couldn’t view all the comments within. Yes they didn’t tell me when I first signed up with them that this free commenting feature would only available at certain period of time only. And after that certain period of time ended, you have to upgrade to a newer version – a kind hint for you to start paying the service!

So I didn’t pay but opted for Haloscan. Like that bloody Squawkbox oopppsss.. Like that kind and friendly neighbourhood Squawkbox, this Haloscan also didn’t tell you how long you could use their service for free.

I have to admit, free things wouldn’t last long. Translate it into life equation – good things and good moments wouldn’t last long too...

And so did my good Saturday week end where I when to the historical city of Malacca for a bowling tournament between my cyber friends. Of course I did not play, being the organiser and all. It was good but the best part was yet to come.

Soon though. We went to IKAN BAKAR (broiled fish – can be any kind of fish) stall in SERKAM, MALACCA for our dinner. I guess it was about 30 or more of us. So basically we conquered the stall that night. We were quite sceptical at first for we know the best known place to taste IKAN BAKAR is in UMBAI, MALACCA. But we were wrong. 120 % wrong.

It was the best place indeed - near the sea side where you could see many small boats were tied to the nearby jetty. And the stall that we chose, there was a wooden bridge that linked to the other side of the river. The scene was fantastic. So picturesque.

And the food was amazing. We had broiled stingray, a big seabass (siakap) cooked in a sweet-and-sour dish, mussels cooked in i-don’t-know-but-definitely-not-boiled dish, crab also cooked in a sweet-and-sour dish, fried KAILAN with salted fish and the home made sauce (to go with broiled stingray) made from a mix of shrimp-paste (BELACAN), chilli, shallot, and definitely a liquid shrimp paste (CENCALUK). There was NASI LEMAK as the appetizer (rice cooked in coconut milk, eat with anchovis in chilli paste and fried egg) and the ABC as the dessert (basically grated ice cube with syrup, peanut and other ingredients with a scoop of an ice cream on top of it!). Oh! and I forgot we had the OTAK-OTAK (fish meat with flour barbequed inside coconut leaves!) too!

All I could say it was heaven. PERFECT dinner with friends. We finished around 11 something. Some had to go back to KUALA LUMPUR and some (like me) journeyed back to JOHOR. And few stayed, still wanted to tour the good old Malacca the next day (Sunday).

So all started well and ended up well. Longing for another good week end. Mean time, it's time for work. No unsatisfactory grunt or feeling of contentment. I am happy. Until another week end...

Err.. Mam.. this is not a shopping spree!

I wonder if people ever encountered this experience before. But it was certainly the first that ever happened to me.

The scenario : going to the bank to withdraw some money. (location and name of that bank is kept secret :-) )
Time: About 10 am
Actors/actresses involved : 2 ladies (apparently the bank staff) sitting at the transaction counter - chatting happily, a guard sitting in the corner, half asleep, few customers and me.
Hated moment : Waiting and seeing the two staffs giggling while putting lipstick and make up on their faces as if they were in the make-up shop somewhere and oblivious to the rest of the world.
Hated moment multiplied to zillion times when : They were doing this at the exact time when transacting my money withdrawal.
Hated moment multiplied with infinite curse : she ended up the transaction without smiling at me or even looked at me..

I was totally pissed off by these unprofessional behaviours.

I'll say no more.
My frustration is mounting.
So much for the "Malaysia boleh" and going towards developed country....

Back to basic!

If you notice, there is no more scrolling title and no more irritating clock. I'm going back to the start. Going back to the basic of HTML codes.

My life is a bit sordid at the moment and I had no time doing what I love to do - fiddling with HTML codes for my blog and my e-group, reading people's blogs, giving comments in other people's blogs, managing my blog, managing my e-group site, sending article(s) in some e-groups, setting up SEMPADAN TANPA SERI web site, managing my own blog and managing my own blog.

Work is overloading and now I just starting up the new KANBAN/ Development Flow Technology(DFT) project phase 3 which I meself will oversee and monitor the progress. Sound scary? Yes, you better be..I need more than 24 hours daily to manage my responsibilities. No kidding.

AND I need another weekend to sort out things before i return back to the good old JOHN like before. HONEST.

But when i sit down and ponder, I really feel so incogitable by the fact that I've been blogging for nearly a month now. There's a mixed feeling in the air. I wonder what kind of feeling that "senior" bloggers have. Happy? Contented? Ambitious? Frustrated? Proud? Ashamed for writing "daily diary" for the whole world to see? Feeling like to strive for a better blog? Whatelse?

I respect those senior bloggers and their blogs like Uncle Adib's, Idlan's, Sarini's, Digital fugue's, Yaz's - to name a few (Gosh! Don't blame me - I want to write all of my friends' blog names here, but if I do - my posting today will be fulled with just blog's names!). How do they managed to pull the low and high tides of emotion. And if they live for hundred years more, are they willingly continue to blogging? And what is the tips to a successful blog?

Sitting here alone in my cubicle in the afternoon break without having the desire to take my lunch, I feel somehow fragile and nervous of my own writings. Will I still be writing my blog next year? or will I for the next two years? Ten years?

For that matter, at least I should be grateful for nearly passing a month benchmark of writing a blog. Looking forward to write some more tomorrow.... I guess..

John (Hoping for silver linings....)

Road runners

Road users - Malaysian style. Somehow it is better to break the law.. he he he